It is who I am

I keep changing the blog’s theme. I have a problem with boredom, and so you will find me often changing the decor of our home. Furniture is often moved and photo’s and pictures changed. I paint a lot. I absolutely love change. New surroundings give me a buzz, and so it works for me. Better that than drugs

I thought about changing the title to ‘WOAS’ instead of ‘Words not of wisdom’ but changed my mind (of course). WOAS as in Wee on a Stick, but only because I have wee’d on about 10 sticks so far, in our bid to add to our brood. Actually, it’s more like wee-ing on about $40 or so, pregnancy tests are expensive.

I spent the morning crocheting unidentifiable objects.

The ugliness of getting up in the dark

I would really love to sleep in. To noon if possible. But the last time I slept in past 8am was probably about 6 years ago now.

In winter, I always get up in the dark. It depresses me.

I need to sit and study today, but I feel like going shopping instead. A 2 yo and rain does not equal a happy shopping day, but I’m a martyr like that.

Why do I always re-invent myself? Why are there so many aspects to my personality?

It is exhausting.

sooo yeah

My family sux. My siblings are idiots.

The older I get the more I realise this.

Sad, but true.

Forgot log in details

And that sums me up

Have been really wanting to write things, but without my login details wasn’t about to. Sad that my log in details were saved and all I had to do was click on log in!!! I can be so daft.

SO, this trying for a baby business is not as easy as it looks people. It doesn’t only take one time.

Each time my month is up, the more I want to be pregnant. It is crazy.

It’s all in God’s hands. It doesn’t matter what we do, if it is in our plan, it will be.

Keep calm and carry on, right?

So I have a plan. Study for my last exam, sit the exam and get fit. I will dedicate my time to getting my life together really. I need to get fit. And eventually, if it is meant to be, it will be.

I have this urge to start painting. As soon as uni is up, that is my goal. And I will make it happen.

So.

I wonder if anyone reads? I kind of hope not. This is just a place for me to ‘think out loud’. I don’t mind readers really, just as long as you don’t really know me in my ‘real’ life; as opposed to this ‘fake’ one hehe.

I want another baby

I really do. I am craving the sweet smell of a newborn, the downy softness of their tiny heads.

I am craving breastfeeding.

I am craving being pregnant.

I am craving it all.

It really is crazy. I always said I would never have kids. Then hubby and I were surprised with our first. Then I said I would never have anymore kids.

5 years later we start trying for our 2nd child. 13 months of disapointments. Then the joy of becoming pregnant!

Then the nausea and tiredness.

The constant back ache and heartburn.

The weight gain (25kg actually).

The the c-section. Stitches. Bleeding.

The pain. Oh, the pain.

And I want it all again.

I want a little boy. I dream about him often. I wonder what he will look like.

I wonder if I will have a son. I wonder if God will allow us to experience having a son. Or is it girls for us?

Either way, I have more love to give.

I want another baby, please.

Mitch Albom

I am obsessed.

Its beautifully cold today.  I am happy doing nothing but painting my nails. The baby will wake soon. We’ll have lunch togther (no sitting outside in the sun today as there is no sun!).

I have washing to do, washing to pack, have to sort through the bed linen, dishes to wash, walk-in wardrobe to tidy, and I am sitting here painting my nails and blog-reading (a total waste of time to just do one thing!).

I have study to do as well. But maybe that can wait for another day.

It feels so good to blog about nothing. No one expecting a post, or expecting me to be funny or informative. I am just typing crap and I love it.

Aren’t I weird?

Yep. Yep I am.

I am an Artist

When I was younger, I was always told that I was the artistic type, just because of the sign that I was born under. Apparently, Gemini’s are artistically inclined.

I used to laugh at this claim. I had never really tried to be artistic, and if I had, I never finished anything I started. I always made mistakes and did some pretty weird things.

In the past year I have learned so much about myself.  I learned that I love to create. I learned that I can sew, knit, crochet, paint and draw. And doing these things leave feeling me elated. I had never experienced such happiness from such little things before.

Everywhere I look I see the potential to re-create. I see Art in everything now.

How could I have not known that this is what I loved to do? Where was this ‘artistic streak’ of mine hidden? What was keeping it away?

Just today I painted some old photo frames, created some botanical wall art, and sketched portraits. I also found a lamp shade I made a while ago made from a kitchen tea towel and some pompom trim. And now I am itching to bring out the sewing machine or chrochet a little.

Is it because I am getting old?